Saturday, February 23, 2013

Don't you Dare Doubt.

 "Don't you Dare Doubt."
Try saying that 5 times fast . . . . or don't . . do whatever you want, really.
I don't know if you know this, but I basically have social anxiety. Hopefully that's not obvious enough that you would've already known that . . .
Like I'm shy. REALLY shy.
And I kind of hate myself for it sometimes . . . where am I going with this?
I almost forgot haaaa . . . the point is, last weekend I hung out with tons of people I didn't know, and holy animal. I didn't hardly even know what to do.
How do you get to know people if they all already know eachother?
. . heck, I have no idea.
Anyhow, I tried to not be totally socially awkward. (I probably failed.. but ehh, yolo?)
Then through the wonderful technology of our day, I've stayed somewhat in touch with the people down there . . . you know . . where I was hanging out . . which isn't where I live . . . OOOkayyy.
Anyways. I'm gonna skip to the point.
 I've totally been doubting myself.
Let's be real, they were all probably thinking "who is that weird chick, we don't even know her, why is she here?"
I was definitely doubting the decision to stay in touch with them . . . what's the point of that?
And the whole time I was down there, I felt like I couldn't be myself . . . every group has their own "social norms" if you will . . I didn't know how to fit in down there!
That's just one example of doubting myself (it probably didn't make sense, so sorry . .) but sometimes do you just get in this rut? You can't even explain why you're not having a good day . . .you doubt yourself a lot, and don't know how to answer "are you okay?".
Don't feel down on yourself,
Love yourself,
Help others love themselves,
Be confident with who you are,
Be independent,
We all have moments where we fall into that rut, but its just that - a rut. And there are people to help us out, it won't last forever. You just have to get through it.
Now I'm not saying it won't be difficult. Or that you won't be pessimistic about it. Hopefully you can be optomistic during hard times, but the point is that you choose whether or not you get out.
The help that you recieve - you have to choose to accept it. And you have to be strong.
And you HAVE to know you are worth so much more than you can imagine.
I can say all this, in fact that's all I can do - talk. But you have to decide to believe it.
Please, please believe it.
Trust me, you are worth so much. You don't need to doubt yourself.
Keep running after what you want, no matter how many times you fall into the ruts, because you'll always get out and keep running . . .
If  you want to - you can definitely keep running.

        "Come on friends get up now,
                               you're not alone at all."